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- Y2K was a wimp.
- To think “out of the box,” one has to able to first ascertain what is in the
- Never start a presentation with the numbers!
- When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have any
- A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
- People lost in thought may be in unfamiliar territory.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
- It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
- Always remember you’re unique… Just like everyone else.
- Networking 101… Nothing in life or networks is ever 100% available…no
matter how much you pay for it.
- As you near the end of a long and somewhat mediocre career, you begin to
realize that mediocrity is not all that bad.
- In the 1960’s, it was “Where Have all the Flowers Gone?” Now its
“Where Have all the Dot.Coms Gone?”
- There is no subsititute for common sense.
- Some call a spade a spade; some call a spade a shovel.
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
- Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
- When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
- OK, what’s the speed of dark?
- Half the people you know are below average.
- What do you do when you find out all your silver bullets are tarnished?
- Is it really a compliment to be told you are “as sharp as a marble?”
- If you need a helping hand, use the one at the end of your own arm.
- Work expands to fit the size of your cubical.
- If you can’t stand the heat, don’t start a fire.
- The wealthy are all one color…Green!
- If you understand everything, you must be misinformed.
- Be a Loof…the world already has too many Lerts!
- Many are callled, few are chosen, fewer still get to do the choosing.
- Politicians call it “Outsourcing;” guess it doesn’t sound as ominous as
- You’re just a lost ball in the high weeds. (from the movie “Bad Day at Black Rock”)
- Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
- Anthony’s Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
- O’brien’s Variation Law: If you change lines, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
- Bell’s Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
- Ruby’s Principle of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
- Willoughby’s Law: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
- Zadra’s Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
- Breda’s Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
- Colpermin’s Law: Body will release gas from the back end, only the when the elevator is crowded and everybody is absolutely silent.
- There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that understand binary and those that don’t.
- The grass may be greener on the other side…but you still have to mow it.
- You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
- The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- When you go into court, you are putting yourself In the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
- Great minds think alike…and as one comes to realize over the years, so do small ones.
- Too bad you have to go to the great beyond to find out whether your religion was the right one.
- Healing takes time, but you can rip a scab off in seconds.
- Evil is everywhere – including right inside of all of us.
- To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
- Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
- The bigger the lie, the more they believe. (HBO Series The Wire – Season 5, Episode 1)
- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
- The average dog is nicer than the average person. (Andy Rooney)
- It isn’t the rebels who cause the troubles of the world. It’s the troubles that cause the rebels.(Carl Oglesby)
- It is no longer politically correct to refer to lipstick and pigs in the same sentence. I wonder if the same holds true for lip gloss and pigs?
- Cost of Living Now Outweighs Benefits (from the Onion as quoted in Washington Post Magazine, 16 November 2008).
- Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world. (Jack Nicholson)
- Many things are trivial if someone else does them. (Earl Miles, aka merlinofchaos)
- We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe… (Stephen Hawking)
- I just had a baby. It would be like throwing a hot-dog down a hallway. (Nancy Botwin, character on Weeds, Season 5, Episode 10)