The List – 2020 to Present


2020

  1. Due to Coronovirus (COVID19) all TCP applications are being converted to UDP to avoid Handshakes. (seen on Twitter.com, 10 March 2020)
  2. GO INTO THE STREETS FOLKS. Visit bars, restaurants, shopping malls, CHURCHES and demand that your schools re-open. NOW! If government doesn’t stop this foolishness…STAY IN THE STREETS. END GOVERNEMNT CONTROL OVER OUR LIVES. IF NOT NOW, WHEN? THIS IS AN EXPLOITATION OF A CRISIS. (David A. Clarke, Jr. on Twitter, 15 March 2020)

The List – 2010 through 2019

2010

  1. Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. (Benjamin Disraeli)
  2. Those who live in glass houses should refrain from building rock gardens in their front yards.
  3. You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. (Frank Zappa)
  4. All right brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer. (Homer Simpson)
  5. Don’t let the doorknob hit you where the dog should have bit you. (Michael Wilbon)
  6. If you don’t like the drumbeat here, you can always look for a different band to march with! (apologies to Henry David Thoreau )
  7. Many have a reputation that precedes them, but only a few have a reputation that succeeds them.
  8. When disagreement becomes unacceptable, communication ends and propaganda begins. (Paul Delbar)
  9. Adhering to the four freedoms associated with the GPL does not require a vow of poverty.

2011

  1. Should the anti-social among us be banned from joining social networks?
  2. Those who live in the past are the pawns of those who live in the moment.
  3. We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. (Albert Einstein)
  4. When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. (Maslow)
  5. Why reinvent the wheel? Because we don’t like the person who invented it. (Jen Kramer)

2012

  1. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough. (Dries Buytaert)
  2. I’m so glad I have a spork. It goes with my collection of other novelty items. You know, my rubber ducky, my beanie hat with a propeller, and my chattering wind-up teeth. (Owen Fagerli)
  3. If you find yourself without your spork, in an emergency, visit a KFC. They have lots of black plastic sporks.  I know.  I used to grab 5-6 every time I went there. (Owen Fagerli)
  4. Change ain’t lookin’ for friends. Change calls the tune we dance to. (Ian McShane as the character Al Swearengen in HBO Series Deadwood, Episode 26)
  5. That’s a clown question bro. (Bryce Harper)
  6. If good things come to those who wait, are procrastinators set for life? (Tweet by George Mason U, 17 September 2012)

2013

  1. Yet one more time our fearless leaders played a game of “Kick the Can” and it ended in a tie at the edge of the Fiscal Cliff.
  2. Sorry kids we cook EVERYTHING in the sauerkraut today. You’re lucky dessert ain’t in there too!  (Tweet by @Pittsburgh_Dad, 01 January 2013)
  3. Think like a gardener; work like a carpenter. (Jim Larranaga)
  4. The older you get, the more important it is to not act your age. (Ashleigh Brilliant)

2014

  1. Redskins fans deserve a better result…. (Owner Dan Snyder on their 3-13 2013 season)
  2. I think Denver forgot why they were there. (comment on Superbowl XLVIII results by William Hill)
  3. Friends: You have life long ones, you have passing through ones and you have those that hang around while there is something in it for them. Once they have what they want they are hardly seen again! (Wayne Kline, CSC).
  4. You can’t have a light without a dark to stick it in. (Arlo Guthrie)
  5. Life is much easier when you choose to treat people as acquaintances rather than friends.
  6. Each of us put our hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution.  We did not place our hands on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible. (Brian Sims, Democratic Congressman from Pennsylvania)

2015

  1. The world is governed by four-year-olds. (David Brooks on NBC’s Meet the Press, 11 January 2015)
  2. Mitt Romney says he will not run for president in 2016, crushing the hopes and dreams of tens of people. (seen on Twitter.com, 30 Jan 2015)
  3. Efficiency is a good thing: e.g. Arabic Numerals: 888. Roman Numerals: MCCCLXXXVIII. (Neil deGrass Tyson)
  4. You can’t put an old head on a young body.
  5. Trusting the government with your privacy is like having a Peeping Tom install your window blinds. (John Perry Barlow)
  6. An arrogant demeanor is the kiss of death to any further education. You can’t learn when you think you already know it all. (@FleurtyK on Twitter)
  7. The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. (John F. Kennedy)
  8. Never look in the obvious place for an object you can’t find.
  9. If you love someone, set them free. If you hate someone, set them free. Basically…. set everyone free and get a dog, people are stupid. (Seeby Woodhouse, 17 June 2015)
  10. Moore’s Law of Mad Science: Every eighteen months, the minimum IQ necessary to destroy the world drops by one point. (Eliezer Yudkowsky, read more at: azquotes.com)

2016

  1. America, now barely clinging on to the title Richest Country in the World has taken itself from a workers’ paradise to a middle class sweatshop in just a few decades. (Ian Jackson)
  2. Success is not counted by how high you have climbed, but by how many people you brought with you. (Dr. Wil Rose)
  3. Trump runs around letting cats out of bags and they are not easily put back in. (Eugene Robinson, Washington Post)
  4. We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. (Benjamin Franklin)
  5. Be decisive.  Right or wrong, make a decision.  The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision. (Unknown)
  6. To just be grossly generalistic, you can put half of Trump supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables. (Hillary Clinton, Democratic candidate for POTUS)
  7. It used to be cars were made in Flint, and you couldn’t drink the water in Mexico. Now, the cars are made in Mexico and you can’t drink the water in Flint. (Donald Trump, Republican Candidate for POTUS)
  8. Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love! (POTUS-Elect Donald J. Trump@realDonaldTrump tweet, 31 December 2016)

2017

  1. At 12:00 noon on 20 January 2017, orange becomes the new red.
  2. We are going to have an unbelievable, perhaps record-setting turnout for the inauguration, and there will be plenty of movie and entertainment stars.  All the dress shops are sold out in Washington.  It’s hard to find a great dress for this inauguration. (POTUS-Elect Donald J. Trump, 08 January 2017)
  3. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. (Benjamin Franklin)
  4. Not that anybody asked, but the combined Federal budgets for the NEA & NEH equals what Americans spend annually on lip balm. Cutting the NEA & NEH to save money on a $3-trillion budget is like thinking 1/4-mile is far relative to the width of the USA. (Neil deGrassae Tyson on Twitter, 22 March 2017)
  5. In a free country, it doesn’t matter if you think the world is flat, provided you don’t ascend to become head of NASA. (Neil deGrassae Tyson on Twitter, 22 April 2017)
  6. It’s far easier to fool someone than to convince them that they’ve been fooled. (Mark Twain)
  7. Trump’s not the Anti-Christ but Christ is the Anti-Trump. (seen on Twitter, 16 July 2017)
  8. Politicians and diapers should be changed frequently and all for the same reason. (José Maria de Eça de Queiroz)
  9. If you want truth to go round the world you must hire an express train to pull it; but if you want a lie to go round the world, it will fly; it is light as a feather and a breath will carry it. (Charles Spurgeon)
  10. Trickle Down Economics
    Trickle Down Economic
    Trickle Down Economi
    Trickle Down Econom
    Trickle Down Econo
    Trickle Down Econ
    Trickle Down Eco
    Trickle Down Ec
    Trickle Down E
    Trickle Dow
    Trickle Do
    Trickle D
    Trickl
    Trick (Lance Ulanpoff, Twitter, 2 December 2017)
  11. I know the details of taxes better than anybody. Better than the greatest CPA. I know the details of health care better than most, better than most. (POTUS45 during Interview with New York Times, 28 December 2017)

2018

  1. The President is like a bizarro malignant version of Chance the gardener from Being There.(seen on Twitter, 02 January 2018)
  2. If you go out and you want to buy groceries, you need a picture on a card, you need ID…You go out and you want to buy anything, you need ID and you need your picture.” (Donald J. Trump, 31 July 2018)
  3. There are no “Rain-Outs” for beer drinking. (Barry Reinhardt, 1 August 2018)
  4. Truth isn’t truth. (Rudy Giuliani on Meet the Press, 19 August 2018)
  5. I know tech better than anyone, & technology…. (Donald J. Trump on Twitter, 6:58 AM – 21 Dec 2018)

2019

  1. Life is too short to drink bad wine and warm beer. (Anonymous)
  2. It is easier to fool people, than to convince them they are being fooled. (Mark Twain)
  3. The most important thing to do if you find yourself in a hole is to stop digging. (Warren Buffett)
  4. Repubs must not allow Pres Obama to subvert the Constitution of the US for his own benefit & because he is unable to negotiate w/ Congress. (Donald J. Trump@realDonaldTrump on Twitter, 9:36 AM – Nov 20, 2014)
  5. In politics stupidity is not a handicap. (Napoleon Bonaparte)
  6. Aliens probably ride past Earth and lock their doors… (Scott Baio@ScottBaio on Twitter, March 2, 2019)
  7. Donald Trump signing bibles is like Hannibal Lecter signing cookbooks. (Adam Best@adamcbest on Twitter, March 8, 2019)
  8. That’s enough to make a good dog break its chain. (Steve Harvey on SNL, May 4, 2019)
  9. To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. (Theodore Roosevelt)
  10. As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron. (H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920)
  11. After studying science, philosophy, theology and socioeconomic history for many years, I have concluded that the big problem is that so many people are fucking stupid. (Ricky Gervais@rickygervais on Twitter, July 1, 2019)
  12. In June of 1775, the Continental Congress created a unified Army out of the Revolutionary Forces encamped around Boston and New York, and named after the great George Washington, commander in chief. The Continental Army suffered a bitter winter of Valley Forge, found glory across the waters of the Delaware and seized victory from Cornwallis of Yorktown.  Our Army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do, and at Fort McHenry, under the rocket’s red glare it had nothing but victory. And when dawn came, their star-spangled banner waved defiant. (POTUS45, July 4, 2019)
  13. Someday, a turtle may end up with a Trump-branded straw in its nose. Here’s why. (Eli Rosenberg, Washington Post, July 20, 2019)
  14. Our smartphones are 120 million times more powerful than the computers that guided Apollo 11. That has enabled us to progress from moon landings to cat videos. (William Easterly@bill_easterly on Twitter, July 20, 2019)
  15. The world expects each man to do his duty.  If he doesn’t both suffer. (B.C. Forbes, Founder of Forbes Magazine)
  16. People said what’s with the light bulb? I said here’s the story, and I looked at it: The bulb that we’re being forced to use — No. 1, to me, most importantly, the light’s no good. I always look orange. (POTUS45 during a speech at the 2019 House Republican Conference Member Retreat Dinner, Baltimore, MD, 12 September 2019)
  17. Never really understood why people hated clowns until we got one as a president. (@nachosarah on Twitter, 18 October 2019)
  18. I earned my spurs on the battlefield … And Donald Trump earned his spurs in a letter from a doctor. (retired Marine General James Mattis, 17 October 2018)
  19. The First Amendment is first for a reason; the Second is just in case the first one doesn’t work out. (Dave Chappelle, recipient of Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, 27 October 2019)
  20. Unlike Jesus, Trump can turn anything into whine. Alex Cole, Twitter, 20 Dec 2019
  21. There’s a meme about how Trump is “a poor man’s idea of a rich man, a dumb man’s idea of a smart man, and a weak man’s idea of a strong man.”

The List – 2000 through 2009

2000

  1. Y2K was a wimp.

2001

  1. To think “out of the box,” one has to able to first ascertain what is in the
    box.
  2. Never start a presentation with the numbers!
  3. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
  4. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  5. Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don’t have any
    film.
  6. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
  7. People lost in thought may be in unfamiliar territory.
  8. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
  9. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  10. Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear
    bright until you hear them speak.
  11. Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off now.
  12. It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
  13. Always remember you’re unique… Just like everyone else.
  14. Networking 101… Nothing in life or networks is ever 100% available…no
    matter how much you pay for it.

2002

  1. As you near the end of a long and somewhat mediocre career, you begin to
    realize that mediocrity is not all that bad.
  2. In the 1960’s, it was “Where Have all the Flowers Gone?”  Now its
    “Where Have all the Dot.Coms Gone?”
  3. There is no subsititute for common sense.
  4. Some call a spade a spade; some call a spade a shovel.
  5. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
  6. Save the whales.  Collect the whole set.
  7. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
    something.
  8. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
  9. OK, what’s the speed of dark?
  10. Half the people you know are below average.
  11. What do you do when you find out all your silver bullets are tarnished?
  12. Is it really a compliment to be told you are “as sharp as a marble?”
  13. If you need a helping hand, use the one at the end of your own arm.
  14. Work expands to fit the size of your cubical.

2003

  1. If you can’t stand the heat, don’t start a fire.
  2. The wealthy are all one color…Green!
  3. If you understand everything, you must be misinformed.
  4. Be a Loof…the world already has too many Lerts!
  5. Many are callled, few are chosen, fewer still get to do the choosing.

2004

  1. Politicians call it “Outsourcing;” guess it doesn’t sound as ominous as
    “Off-Shoring.”
  2. You’re just a lost ball in the high weeds. (from the movie “Bad Day at Black Rock”)

2005

  1. Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
  2. Anthony’s Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  3. O’brien’s Variation Law: If you change lines, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
  4. Bell’s Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
  5. Ruby’s Principle of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
  6. Willoughby’s Law: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
  7. Zadra’s Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
  8. Breda’s Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
  9. Colpermin’s Law: Body will release gas from the back end, only the when the elevator is crowded and everybody is absolutely silent.
  10. There are 10 types of people in this world.  Those that understand binary and those that don’t.
  11. The grass may be greener on the other side…but you still have to mow it.

2006

  1. You can’t have everything.  Where would you put it?
  2. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
  3. A fine is a tax for doing wrong.  A tax is a fine for doing well.
  4. When you go into court, you are putting yourself In the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
  5. Great minds think alike…and as one comes to realize over the years, so do small ones.
  6. Too bad you have to go to the great beyond to find out whether your religion was the right one.
  7. Healing takes time, but you can rip a scab off in seconds.
  8. Evil is everywhere – including right inside of all of us.
  9. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

2007

  1. Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.

2008

  1. The bigger the lie, the more they believe. (HBO Series The Wire – Season 5, Episode 1)
  2. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
  3. The average dog is nicer than the average person. (Andy Rooney)
  4. It isn’t the rebels who cause the troubles of the world.  It’s the troubles that cause the rebels.(Carl Oglesby)
  5. It is no longer politically correct to refer to lipstick and pigs in the same sentence.  I wonder if the same holds true for lip gloss and pigs?
  6. Cost of Living Now Outweighs Benefits (from the Onion as quoted in Washington Post Magazine, 16 November 2008).

2009

  1. Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world. (Jack Nicholson)
  2. Many things are trivial if someone else does them. (Earl Miles, aka merlinofchaos)
  3. We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe… (Stephen Hawking)
  4. I just had a baby.  It would be like throwing a hot-dog down a hallway. (Nancy Botwin, character on Weeds, Season 5, Episode 10)